Communicating your heart

Communicating your heart, things that really matter, can be a real problem. Especially to those of us who are comfortable with distance. It’s much easier just to block people out and attempt to handle things on your own. But there is a time when openness is a necessity. (AKA: with your family, mentors, accountability partner etc…) Specifically it’s essential to be open with your leaders; your dad or husband if you are a girl. For if you are not open with them, how will they know how to lead you? Or what you need? Or what you are thinking? And how can they give you the help you need?

So I’ve put together a list of tips that I’ve found helpful about relating your heart to such people. I’m writing this from a girls point of view so I don’t know if it applies to guys or not but I’m sure some of the principles are the same:

1. Every time you think of something you need direction on or feel like you need to talk to somebody about, write it down. If your authority is as busy as mine you might get a list before you have time to sit down and share your heart with him.

2. Be direct, it’s easier then beating around the bush and leaves less room for confusion. Go on, lay your heart on the line, it’s much better then keeping it all to yourself. If you are talking to your authority it gives them an idea of how to lead you, otherwise how would he know where your heart was?

3. If you are having extra trouble opening up turn off the light or go somewhere in a dark car. Darkness definitely does the trick, it’s much easier to talk when you cannot be seen. Exposing light makes us shrink back from showing emotion, and it’s impossible to share your heart without emotion.

4. Do not be afraid to cry, this releases the emotions inside and helps you cope with life. Crying is a need every woman has, do not deny it. Do not feel weakened by it, for it allows you to be strong later.

5. If you are talking to a man, believe me he does not know what you are thinking, you have to tell him EVERYTHING. (I do not suggest this with any man except your father, husband, or brothers) Don’t just assume he knows, as you would a girl. Talking with men is a totally different ball game. He can not read your thoughts, do not expect him to just understand, be pleasantly surprised if he does.

6. Sometimes the person does not know what to say or do and you have to teach them what you want. Communication is everything, say it or they won’t know it. Confirm them when they do things right.

7. Chances are when you open up, the person will hurt you in one way or another. Not always but there is a definite probability. Do not be startled by this, go ahead and be expecting it. Assume it’s going to sting, assume it’s going to hurt. When it happens, do not shrink back like we are prone to do, or you will leave in worse shape then you came. Be open about what upsets you and remember the light trick if you feel exposed. :)

8. Ask him for advice, show him you respect him. Be sensitive to him, you are not the only one with feelings or emotions, put yourself in his shoes. It’s hard to relate to somebody and say everything just right. Give him slack.

WARNING: These techniques are not to be used on just anybody, they really do work in bonding you to the victim. (for lack of a better word) Be careful with whom you choose to bond.